Personal responsibility requires you to own your thoughts, feelings and actions. Others do not make you think, feel, say or do anything. You choose to react to what you experience. Just as you do not have control over how other people respond, they respond from their thoughts, beliefs and feelings.
It is easy to blame others for your misfortunes. However, by doing so, you put yourself in the victim role, robbing you of your control and ability to change your situation. By eliminating blame and accepting personal responsibility, you can see the situation clearly, make rational and effective decisions and take steps towards more positive actions.
Though it is is human nature to complain about situations that do not please us or go our way, it is just an extension of blaming. Complaining has many negative consequences such as losing your focus or concentration, maintaining victim status, harboring negativity and the loss of your ability to learn from an experience. What could have been done differently? How did my reaction contribute to the outcome? What should I do now to improve the situation?
It is easy to fall into the trap of taking a reaction or disagreement (or criticism) as a personal attack. Be careful not to make assumptions and take the opportunity to communicate. "Why did you say that?" "Is that what you meant?" "Is there an issue with me or is this about the situation?" Remember, you cannot control others thoughts, feeling and behaviors, but by learning more about WHY they thought, felt or behaved in a certain manner can help you improve your empathy or dissect the situation to come up with alternatives or solutions. Remember, the goal is always a win-win outcome when possible.
Take a moment to watch this video that explains the process and interaction of thoughts, feelings and behaviors.