By Channah Lohman, Writing Specialist
March 04, 2024

In 2022, I received the US State Department’s Critical Language Scholarship for two months of study abroad in South Korea. With a less than 10% nationwide acceptance rate, it is considered one of the top language-related scholarships an American citizen can receive. The make-or-break aspect of the application wasn’t grades, need, or the school you attended. Instead, the most important element of the application was the essay.

This is true of most scholarships available. However, it can be hard to know what exactly constitutes a “good” essay when faced with broad and purposefully vague “tell-me-about-your-life” kinds of questions. However, these questions are designed with intention to conceal four main criteria. They are:

  1. Investment Potential
  2. Cohesive Narrative
  3. Emotional Appeal
  4. Specific Planning

We’ll start with the hidden criteria, and then address the do’s-and-don’ts of meeting it.

 

Investment Potential

Let’s clear up a common misconception: Scholarship money is not a gift. It’s an investment. Since scholarship providers usually can’t control what you do with the money after you receive it, their questions are structured to identify the candidates most likely to use money in alignment with their goals. Those goals must be considered. What does the scholarship hope to gain by sending you abroad, or by paying for your school? Who sponsored the competition? What have their past alumni accomplished? When you write your essay, focus less on what you don’t have or can’t do, and more on what you have done, can do, and will be able to give back along those lines if you get the scholarship. That is what they’re looking for. Consider the goals of the scholarship’s organization and tailor your approach to match. Approaching your essay from the standpoint of showing investment potential will put you on the right track.

 

Cohesive Narrative

Humans are more complex than any one essay can communicate. “Life story”-type questions are designed to see which elements an applicant pulls from their pool of personal experience and the kind of story they weave. Your goal is to form a life narrative that culminates in receiving this scholarship—and then continues all the stronger in the hypothetical future afterwards. Choose aspects from your life which can be framed around your scholarship’s goals. Since my scholarship was aimed at language study, I pulled elements from childhood regarding fascination with other cultures. I omitted things like attending camps in archery and frog-call identification and having an anime phase at 13. Those elements were still part of my life, but they didn’t contribute to my scholarship narrative. Observe your experiences intentionally and screen out the ones that don’t align.

 

Emotional Appeal

People remember how you made them feel. What gives you an edge is not always the credentials you have, but how you have applied them. Experience outweighs potential. Your job is to show how you’ve put your skills into action, and a great way to do this is through a personal story. A teacher’s resume about how many classes they’ve taught won’t ring as true as their anecdote about a moment in class that truly impacted them and their students. The latter method shows that this candidate can deliver on their promised expertise.

 

Specific Planning

Your scholarship company wants to see that you can make a feasible, detailed plan. It doesn’t have to be the plan you ultimately stick with; life is too unpredictable for that. Instead, they want to see you have the attention span, foresight, and research ability to both make a plan for the future and justify its components. Be sure you can explain why specifically you want this program, hosted by this school, to achieve your goals.

When answering those criteria, there are elements which can either communicate them clearly or take you out of the running. Those dos-and-don’ts are as follows:

  1. Don’t Use Scholarship-ese
  2. Don’t Down Yourself
  3. Do Frame Around your Strengths

 

Don’t Use Scholarship-ese

“I am applying for this scholarship because I am enthusiastic about immersing myself in this incredible culture!” …said every applicant ever. If you weren’t enthusiastic about cultural immersion, for instance, you wouldn’t be applying for the cultural immersion scholarship. Similarly, avoid statements like, “I am a responsible hard worker,” and “I am a diligent go-getter.” These “scholarship-ese”-type phrases are overused in applications until they become white noise. Everyone says they’re a hard worker—how can you show you’re a hard worker? An exceptional essay should show your excellence through personal experience.

 

Don’t Down Yourself

It can be tempting to try for sympathy by showing our weaknesses. However, remember that scholarships are looking for a return on investment. Vulnerabilities can be shared with your friends, not your essay. It may also seem tempting to move from a “self-down” into a “but!”—i.e., “I sometimes struggle with X, Y, Z, but! this scholarship will help me overcome that.” This doesn’t work for scholarship essays because most scholarships are looking for someone who already has a sense of direction. Similarly, don’t say you’re worried about what will happen if you don’t get the scholarship. Emotional appeals of that kind will neither have an affect nor paint you in a flattering light, so avoid showing your weaknesses and instead play to your strengths.

 

Do Frame Around your Strengths

So, how do we work with those trick questions about encountering obstacles? We cast ourselves as overcomers who have persevered and continue in optimism. Never adopt a negative tone for a competitive scholarship. Questions on personal topics or obstacles are about how you handled those things, not the things themselves. Scholarship committees don’t want to hear how defeated you were; they want to see your resilience, adaptability, and drive. The ideal candidate is one that can turn their situations around and keep moving forward.

There is a final point of advice, and that is to persevere. Scholarships can be fickle, and your success can be as much about your eligibility as it can be about the person who reads your essay. The scholarship I mentioned in the beginning of this post was one success among dozens of rejections, including from other highly competitive scholarships. The important thing is to try and keep trying, apply and keep applying! Sources like the Writing Center are here to coach you through each step of your application. Good luck, and we hope to see you soon!